dating Keli

I was at the Potomac Ward Christmas Party and I met a guy that I thought was ...well...hot..
.............but he was talking to one of my good friends.. He said to her " wow, what are you doing here.. you look to young to be here..." I laughed.. he said "what" I said she is a year older than me.. He said " oh is she that old" .....I said well you should get to know my friend she is really amazing.. he said is she your actual FRIEND.. or someone that you know here at church..." I said " she is my actual friend" He said " have you ever hung out with her"... He said "when" and I said " "earlier this month we toured a plantation..." He said " Oh OK so you are actual friends"....that was a whole thing was a bit awkward..

Then later I went downstairs and he was down there talking to several people and he told one woman that he had just graduated from BYU.. this woman was like "with your second degree?" He said .."no with my first" She was like "well I don't get it? why did you just now graduate..."  wow.. I hope that she meets someone that's life has just been perfect like a cookie cut out from a cookie cutter... who cares if he just got a degree..I mean seriously.. he has a career.. and well a degree even better.. good for him.. you know..

so he said to me and another woman can you repeat this sentence " who far Ted.. " I am like sure but um I don't get it" he was like "keep saying it..." then he was like " you are saying WHO FARTED!!!!!! " it is a FART JOKE" how funny is that... " myself and this other woman just sat there.. he said " I can't believe that you guys don't think that is funny... I mean this one guy upstairs he thinks it is hilarious......" I said " he would " I said ... "maybe if I was a 10 year old boy I may find that funny but I don't right now.."

So I told my friend about him and she was like.. " well he came to a party that my friend had recently and he spent all his time talking to one girl, it was like he only wanted to get to know her" ....well good for him... maybe he would actually like to be in a relationship.. instead of just go to group activities all the time.

Then I saw him at the NYE semi-formal dance .. he was there in a hoodie and baggy jeans and a pair of sneakers...we danced together and he was nice..and he said I could take a picture with him.. as long as his hoodie was covering his face....My friend said "that was HIM!" he wore THAT to the dance! to a semi-formal dance he wore THAT!?" I said yes.. that is what he wore..."

So last week one of my guy friends asked me if I thought he was hot.. I said" well he is my type looks wise" He said "well I am going to bring him to your ward"

I said "OK" then on Sunday this guy WAS AT MY WARD.. I had had a stressful morning and when I saw that guy in nice Sunday clothes who IS my type looks wise.. I wanted to crawl under my seat... like " aaah he is at my ward!!!" 

I told my married friend and she said " well go for him, he is not bad looking.." I said "well he makes fart jokes and he is like forty years old"

She said " that is what happens when men do not have the influence of a woman in their life" .... 

so I could not sit by him in Sunday School I was just to nervous... and my friend was like come back here and sit by him and I was like... " no I am already up here."

So after Sunday School, I went back and said hi to him .. I said " I have had a stressful morning.. I spilled what I had made for the potluck all over the place and had to clean that up at my house.. and now I am going to have to go and buy something"

He said "well I am going to tell the Bishop" I said " well it is already on my FB and I am friends with his son .. and he does not go to church.. so he can tell him" ... He said " well what if I tell him" I said " um go ahead.. or I can tell his wife Marilyn in RS.. I mean I don't care" ...

So after Relief Society he followed my guy friend and I to Safeway and we got a rotisserie chicken he said that he did not need to bring anything because he was a "guest".....

so at the potluck he talked to me a lot and came over and poked my arm once and I said "come and sit by me" and he said " no come and sit by me" so I did then he was very nice when I sat by him he flirted with me and talked to me... and put his hand on my arm when he was talking to me...

then someone brought up that freaking dating coach thing from the PW ward.. I about went CRAZY..and most people there were not in favor of it.. I will write a blog post about that later.. he said " Keli, calm down.. don't worry about it" and stuff like that...

I went over to him a bit later and said "sorry I got so animated.. I am just having a bad day" He said " well you don't have to change .. you just like telling people what to do" you are like a drill Sargent" I said " I know I need to not do that so much" He said " why change....I like it.. I mean you got that fire" I said well.. yeah... I said " are you dating anyone?" He said "well .. I mean I am dating but I am not dating anyone specific.. " .. but um yeah I am dating"
I said " would you like to go on a date with me sometime" he said "as a friend or what?" he said he felt like he was too old to be going out with people just as a friend and that he was not attracted to me in that way.."

I said "well thank you so much for being honest.. if more people were honest.. than I think that we would be having more success" we then talked some more...

and then when I left my guy friend had to go back inside.. and he came over and got in my guy friends car and started chatting with me.. and then my guy friend came and he left...

I told a guy in my ward how he rejected me and he said.. "well that was harsh" I said "no it was good" I mean what was he supposed to do..say yes...then cancel before it because he did not really want to go... or actually go out with me and we would both waste time and gas and money.. so he could tell me at the end of a couple of hours.. that he was just not that into me.. no I believe that he did the right thing...

my guy friend said " maybe he would change his mind in the future" I said... I am not going to count on that"

but I wish him luck!!!
 

dating Keli

In December 2012, I went to the Potomac ward Christmas party and stayed REALLY LATE..like maybe until midnightish..

I did not want to walk out to my car by myself.. I don't want you to think I am a wimp or anything.. I just want you to think that I have common sense.

The Bishop of the Potomac ward had sent out some emails about how some shady things had been happening at and around that building.. from people just hanging out begging for money and rides.. to someones car getting broken into and her purse being stolen..

So I thought.. I am never going to leave that building alone.. and if you read as many books as I did or watched as many episodes of Criminal Minds or CSI or Law and Order SVU that I do.. you would feel the same way.

the only problem is so many of the men are about as big as me.. I swear that I weigh more than several of the men... I don't know whether to laugh or cry at that fact.. but I believe that there is strength in numbers so if I am leaving with a man or another woman.. I am hoping that just not being alone will deter anyone that might be considering doing anything..

So when I was leaving the party. I asked this guy if he could walk out with me...He said "why it is completely safe out there.. and besides you are in the parking lot nothing will happen to you."

this guy obviously does not read mystery novels or watch lots of episodes of CSI, Criminal Minds or Law and Order SVU..

I said have you not read the bishops emails .. he was like " well that is nothing" you don't need to worry about that"

well yeah I do...I am not to keen on the idea of being mugged or raped.. or whatever....

so this guy said that he guessed he could walk me to my car..but I should go in and get some free food first because they were giving away all the food that was not eaten.. and he had already taken a lot of it...So I took a plate of brownies to share with my co-workers the next day.

So then we were leaving to walk out when this guy saw another woman.. He did not say anything to me.. not wait a second.. not hold on.. nothing.. he just went up and started talking to this woman...he asked her
how her life was
how her son was
how old her son was now
if she ever got mistaken for her son's sister...
where she was going for the holidays
how much she had paid for the plane ticket
was that plane ticket a good price
what would she do when she got to the place where she was spending her holiday..
and on and on and on... and on.. and she asked him questions back too.. and it was a nice cordial conversation.. so here is my issues...

we were on the way out.. all I asked him to do was walk me to my car...he could have came right back in and talked to her...

she was already talking to another man.. this does not seem to discourage people in the Potomac ward.. they don't even say excuse me or anything like even though she was in the middle of a conversation with another man..he felt like it was OK for him to come up and start a whole new conversation...

then the other man is just standing there all awkward...like how do I get out of here.. or will this guy leave I was talking to this lady...

and I am standing there all awkward.. with a plate of brownies..

while this guy is asking her more and more questions... like can you just walk me to my car please!!!!

I really like the girl he was talking to so I got into the conversation too.. but after each question.. I thought OK we can walk to my car now.. but no he would ask another question to her..

so the other guy said excuse me.. and walked away...

at one point the girl said to him "well what are you going to do for Christmas?" and he said "celebrate my singledom with all my single siblings and my parents...wow.. just wow...

so I said nothing.. I just walked to my car and prayed that I would be OK and I was...

but I thought no.. being single at your age and never being married and having no kids is NOT something to celebrate... and if your parents AND other single siblings are celebrating that.. then they are part of the problem..not that you need to sit home and be depressed that you are still single.. but I also don't feel like it is worth celebrating..

This may seem like a harmless comment to you .. but I feel like so many of the singles I know especially the men seem to be stuck in this high school or young college mentality.. like I AM SINGLE AND YOUNG AND READY TO MINGLE!!!!!! like no you are single and old and need to get ready to get married...

I hope that one day I can get married.. I may never.. I wont be depressed that I am single.. but I also don't see myself celebrating being single.. I already did that many years ago.. now.. it is just a fact.. 

dating Keli

About two years ago, I met a mid-single man that at a party that someone from the Potomac Ward was having. I thought he was attractive.. but I was dating someone.. I also thought that he was out of my league as far as attractiveness goes.. I unlike other mid-singles in this area own several mirrors and know how to use them to assess what I like look...

So anyway..this guy went on too date someone for a long time and I continued to see him around while they were dating at parties and at church social events..

Every time I saw him he was very cordial with me and made small talk..

Now I am not dating anyone and he is not dating anyone.. and according to the looks of the last girl he dated .. maybe he WOULD go on a date with me.. but I am not even going to ask him or make a play..

you know why? BECAUSE THIS DUDE CAN NOT HAVE A CONVERSATION WITH ME... I am serious...


This is a variation of the conversation that I have had with him now for a little over two years:

Him: "Hey Keli, how are you, good to see you"

Me: "good to see you too..how are things with you?

Him: "fine, how is your dog?"

Me: "fine"

then he will JUST SIT THERE... I am serious.. like he will come and sit down near me... or by me and for a second I think WOW.. this guy is HOT and he is sitting by ME and talking to ME.. which he did even when he had a serious GF.. but then after he asks me about my dog.. well that is about all.. but he does not move or leave he just sits there.. and is like well so anything new...

then I will relate WHATEVER story I have to say and this guy will JUST SIT THERE AND  LOOK AT ME... like um.. I have no idea if
he is listening... or if he CARES.. of if I am BORING him.. or if he thinks I am FUNNY or an idiot or WHAT...because his face does NOT change expression.. at all..it is like I am talking to a blank wall... and then I don't know WHAT to do or say .. like how do I conclude this.. like um... so yeah .. that is what happened... um yeah...

At the 2012 Potomac Ward Christmas Party he sat down by me and asked me how my dog was.. and then asked me how other things were.. I told him a story and he just sat there through out the whole thing..and then just kept sitting there.. like um...

NO MATTER WHAT I DO OR SAY .. he will not say ANYTHING MORE THAN ONE WORD ANSWERS ABOUT HIMSELF..and does not comment.. on anything else that I say.. he just stares...and sits there...

after I had told two stories and got not even an expression I was like ..."well I gotta go.." and left my friend sitting there at the table with him.. like um have a nice talk ya'all...


So I am done.. it is just too uncomfortable to just sit there and rattle on and on.. while he just stares right through me...like um OK.. I mean how do you learn to have a conversation or learn to talk to people when you are already in your late thirties..?? IDK...

AND I HEARD HE IS ADDICTED TO PORNOGRAPHY.. someone in my ward told me that.. so that is not confirmed.. but did it BURN his BRAIN or something..??

Dating Keli

I heard a country song yesterday where the man met a woman at a social event and said to her "let's get out of here and go for a drive" ...That man singing GOT it... I am starting to wonder if some of the people in the mid-singles of the DC area get it... I feel like they are happy and content hanging out at social events and would rather go to endless activities or be with "the group"  than to pair off...

It recently came to my attention that a woman in the Potomac Ward made a CLOSED group for mid-singles that want fun activities on Facebook to go too.... because she "wanted to get to know people" um... I don't get why she can't get to know people IN PERSON..

I am against this closed group and these are my reasons why..

1. it is a CLOSED GROUP... we are LDS.. we are not for secret societies.. if you want to invite a lot of people to something then YOU SEND AN EVITE.. or YOU TEXT THEM.. or you ASK THEM.. or you FB MESSAGE THEM... but you DON'T MAKE A CLOSED GROUP... like we are going to this activity BUT ONLY IF YOU CAN SEE IT... ridiculous..

2. several mid-singles suffer with depression and feelings of low self-worth.. that is why I am not putting the identifying stuff of this group.. imagine how they would feel or do feel that they are not a part of this group..that is not right... like I invited ALL THIRTY people in this CLOSED group.. but not YOU.. since you are not in it..

3. One of my friends said " at least she was invited to the group" because her roommate had to ASK to join.. wow.. just WOW... I mean who WANTS to be in it...I mean seriously.. I would not stoop so low to ASK or to confirm that I want to be in it like no thanks..

Here are a couple of stories to illustrate my point
1. I have planned lots of outings and then put them on the Oak Marr list serve or other list serves and have got MINIMAL response.. I even once had one guy SHOW UP and then when he saw that there were no "cool people" there.. just me and two other people.. he said is THIS ALL THAT IS GOING...we said yes.. he said.. well then I am not going... so I stopped wasting my time putting stuff on the list serve... and started just asking my friends and then contacting other people.. to see if they wanted to go on my outings.. over the summer.. I planned an event and texted and messaged several people.. and then one girl.. tried to TAKE OVER and said to me a bunch of stuff like "why did you not invite EVERYONE" and "why did I not post this on "friends of the Oak Marr FB page" I said I have done that in the past.. and got not much response.. and she said "well I think that you need too"

THIS PERSON IS IN THIS CLOSED GROUP!!!!!! she had the NERVE in SUMMER 2012 to tell ME to invite EVERYONE...and to post it on the OAK MARR FB PAGE... yet.. is POSTING STUFF IN THIS CLOSED GROUP ALL THE TIME... no she did NOT.. like for real no she did not... like OK so it is NOT ok for me to ask people in my life to go somewhere with me.. and not post it( which I DID end up doing) in summer 2012 but in fall/winter 2012/13 it os OK for YOU to post in this CLOSED group.. that you are doing this and that..wow.. just WOW.. I really would like to confront her.. but this will suffice... because I feel like if I did she would just INVITE me to the group...like NO... I don't think so...

another person told me that he went to a movie night with this closed group.. and there was no where to sit and he had to " sit on the hard floor" then another person told me about the same movie night and she said that there were too many people there and that this one guy texted her early into the movie night and told her to come because there was " no one cool there yet" WHAT.. how old is he?...does he WORK?? is everyone "cool" at his job.. does he go to the movie THEATER... I sat by a large woman with a cane that was KNITTING at the Twilight movie and I did not think at all.. " wow I wish I was sitting by someone COOL" OH MY WOW... just WOW...

Then she said that the TV was not a flat screen and not big enough for everyone that was there.. which IMO is just EMBARRASSING I would not invite people over for a movie.. if I did not have room for them.. and if I had a crappy TV.. that is just WAY too embarrassing..esp. if I had a big bulky TV in  late 2012.. no.. don't think so.. even my MOM has a FLAT SCREEN...

THEN she said that one guy leaned over and said to her.. " I feel like I am twenty-three years old at BYU... " and she said I know right..

I said to the guy that said he had to sit on the hard floor..and to this woman .. YOU ALL STAYED.. you all had no PROBLEM STAYING THERE.. and watching this movie... and if that guy that said he felt like he was twenty-three at BYU...well he drove from MD... and he is HOT...you can't TELL me he could not find a date.. but he would rather sit and feel like he is back at BYU.. I guess if that is all he did at BYU for social and that is what he is still doing.. then.. um.. no wonder he is not married...

so how I know about these things is that people are telling me.. and it makes me SICK... like I believe in DATING I believe in MARRIAGE.. I believe in people graduating from the singles ward and moving ON.. I believe in REAL FRIENDSHIPS...

I love my real friends and I hope that they love me.. I really do.. and they have been there for me through a lot of stuff.. and I have friends of all ages, sizes, and religions.. and I am so grateful for them.. and I don't worry if they are cool.. or any of that stuff and they don't worry about that either...

Having the skills to form REAL FRIENDSHIPS with people that REALLY CARE ABOUT ME.. is essential I feel like to one day having a REAL relationship with a man that becomes my husband.. and I am glad hat I learned those skills awhile ago..

I heard that one of those girls posted in that closed group that people are going to do something on Sunday in the nice weather...I said that sounds great..but you know what would be better.. if she thought..there is a great guy I would like to get to know I should ask him to do this with me.. or just text her friends.. and say let's go do this...

I am all for a group...but not like this...