In January a man in the Potomac Ward told me that he had got an email from another man in the Potomac Ward about
"dating coaches"...I said forward that to me.. he said "he better not..because it was sent only to the guys.. and well the guys might not want us girls to know.."
I thought well you just told the worst possible girl.. like ever..
So I guess the gist of the email was " that the LDS mid-single men don't know how to date" and this man has taken it upon himself to rectify that.. he has got together some women and they are "dating experts" ....
whatever the freak that means.. but I for one am tired of being a "dating expert..."
and these women have graciously offered their services to go out on a date with ANY of the men in the Potomac ward.. and give them "pointers"
and there are different levels of dates like beginners, advanced, intermediate..whatever.. depending on what level of dater you think that you are..
WHAT THE HECK????? whaaaaat????
levels of dates?? pointers?? what???
I told that guy.. " you don't need to do that, you are forty years old!!! you have been dating since you were a teen.., you open the door for people.. you take girls out on nice dates.. you listen.. YOU JUST HAVE NOT FOUND THE RIGHT PERSON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and no amount of pointers is going to help that...
here are some of my reasons why I think this whole thing is ridiculous
1. it is
2. what one woman may give you as pointers and things another woman may not mind or actually LOVE... here are some examples
example A. I knew a guy in the mid-singles that IMO needed a make-over I did not like his hair or clothes and he sat right near me at institute.. so I felt like I needed to give him a make-over.. I told him so.. he said "no" I said "it will help in your dating life" .. He said " I don't need help in my dating life" I am going on dates very often"...this man is getting married at the end of the month.. He obviously did not need pointers from me.. or a make-over from me..
example B. I know another guy that was in the mid-singles that had the corniest jokes like EVER... and he for real thought he was funny... He asked me for advice one time.. I WANTED TO SAY.. stop telling jokes dude.. or puns or whatever.. because you are SO NOT FUNNY.. I did NOT SAY THAT.. instead I said " find someone that thinks you are funny.." because I am not trying to date him.. who cares if I think he is funny or not???
This man got married in January 2013.. to someone that thinks he is funny... thank goodness I did not give him any "pointers"
any way back to my list
3. it said that you can use the skills that these women teach you.. to go on a date "with someone you actually like"
O. M . GOSH... I am sorry but that totally sounds like an LDS version of prostitution... I mean seriously...
4. it is offensive to their mothers... didn't their mothers teach them this stuff when they were TEENS.. and if not.. well I as a woman am offended BY their mothers.. for NOT doing so :(
So I am at the January potluck for my ward and this guy brings it up...
one guy said " yeah I got that email.. and I thought, wow.. this is interesting".. um.. I don't think that I will be participating in that"
another girl said "wait let me get this straight?, girls are volunteering to go on free dates" wow...how nice of them.. to get taken out on free dates...and they have never been married what makes them know more about dating then someone else..."
another guy came up to me personally and said.. " Keli, I think that you are just mad that they did not ask you to be a dating expert.." I said "um no.. and even if they did, I would turn that down" I said "who am I to tell someone that I have no interest in dating what THEY should do"....
Then another guy said.." you don't get it Keli, these girls are doing us a service, they are going to give us unfiltered honesty" I said " I HIGHLY DOUBT THAT"... I said "you can hang out with me for an hour for free and I can give you some pointers.. " He said " no, he was not going to take me out." I said "well then apparently you don't really want unfiltered honesty" ....
I don't believe that these women have the courage to tell any of these guys what they would really need to hear... I don't know who they are.. but I know not many women DO and not many men want to HEAR it.. things like...
1. you are BORING ( but hey someone else might think they are not)
2. you don't even know how to have a conversation!!!!!!!! you ask the same questions over and over and OVER and say the same things... ( maybe someone else might not mind that.. and they can just repeat themselves together all day long)
3. you need medication...and/or counseling.. STAT -if you have been asking girls out and going on dates and it is not working.. you are the common denominator.. get some REAL help with that.. don't think that I don't realize that about myself...
4. you have bad breath/need to wash your hair/body
5. your clothes make you look like you are homeless.. like I am not sure if you are a homeless person or man with a career.. cause you are dressing like a homeless person...
my one friend said that I don't know that the men need dating advice as much as they need FASHION ADVICE...
..and may I add grooming advice...
I saw a guy at the recent singles conference that wore the same outfit the whole time .. and it was STRAIGHT OUT OF THE EIGHTIES.. neon blue and everything.. and he lives around here in a HUGE HOUSE ...like I know you got money to buy at least two outfits and a new sweater!!!!!
another guy told me that during EQ on Sunday this whole thing was announced again.. and that he raised his hand to make a comment but another guy beat him to it.. and said
" this sounds like a scam to just get your friends that are girls dates with lots of guys"
pretty much.. pretty much...
my friend and I were chatting last night.. and she said.. the problem is that I ( Keli) would like a man that reads and it would make me happy to read books out loud with a man.. or to talk about books..
that bores her...
and she likes dancing... I don't want to go dancing...
so I might say as a pointer.. " you need to read more!!!!!!!!!!" and she might say " you need to dance more!!!!"
which is right.. I guess you can say both are or neither...
I think ultimately what I believe is to
1. trust in God.. he KNOWS what is right for you and DOES HAVE A PLAN FOR YOU.
2. BE YOURSELF..!!! who ever is going to ultimately fall in love with you is going to like YOU.. not who someone else told you to BE... seriously...
I have recently been on three dates with a guy... ( he thinks it is two...but we can agree to disagree on that right!? :)
I have prayed and been myself.. he is not perfect.. I am not perfect...and our dates have not been perfect...
but they have been pretty darn cool...
and we did not need any pointers from anyone else to accomplish that...! :)
.........................and yes I will write a blog post about him.. at some point....but hey it has only been two or three dates.. it is not like I write blog posts after one date.. oh wait.. I do...
but I am going to wait on this one :)
"dating coaches"...I said forward that to me.. he said "he better not..because it was sent only to the guys.. and well the guys might not want us girls to know.."
I thought well you just told the worst possible girl.. like ever..
So I guess the gist of the email was " that the LDS mid-single men don't know how to date" and this man has taken it upon himself to rectify that.. he has got together some women and they are "dating experts" ....
whatever the freak that means.. but I for one am tired of being a "dating expert..."
and these women have graciously offered their services to go out on a date with ANY of the men in the Potomac ward.. and give them "pointers"
and there are different levels of dates like beginners, advanced, intermediate..whatever.. depending on what level of dater you think that you are..
WHAT THE HECK????? whaaaaat????
levels of dates?? pointers?? what???
I told that guy.. " you don't need to do that, you are forty years old!!! you have been dating since you were a teen.., you open the door for people.. you take girls out on nice dates.. you listen.. YOU JUST HAVE NOT FOUND THE RIGHT PERSON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and no amount of pointers is going to help that...
here are some of my reasons why I think this whole thing is ridiculous
1. it is
2. what one woman may give you as pointers and things another woman may not mind or actually LOVE... here are some examples
example A. I knew a guy in the mid-singles that IMO needed a make-over I did not like his hair or clothes and he sat right near me at institute.. so I felt like I needed to give him a make-over.. I told him so.. he said "no" I said "it will help in your dating life" .. He said " I don't need help in my dating life" I am going on dates very often"...this man is getting married at the end of the month.. He obviously did not need pointers from me.. or a make-over from me..
example B. I know another guy that was in the mid-singles that had the corniest jokes like EVER... and he for real thought he was funny... He asked me for advice one time.. I WANTED TO SAY.. stop telling jokes dude.. or puns or whatever.. because you are SO NOT FUNNY.. I did NOT SAY THAT.. instead I said " find someone that thinks you are funny.." because I am not trying to date him.. who cares if I think he is funny or not???
This man got married in January 2013.. to someone that thinks he is funny... thank goodness I did not give him any "pointers"
any way back to my list
3. it said that you can use the skills that these women teach you.. to go on a date "with someone you actually like"
O. M . GOSH... I am sorry but that totally sounds like an LDS version of prostitution... I mean seriously...
4. it is offensive to their mothers... didn't their mothers teach them this stuff when they were TEENS.. and if not.. well I as a woman am offended BY their mothers.. for NOT doing so :(
So I am at the January potluck for my ward and this guy brings it up...
one guy said " yeah I got that email.. and I thought, wow.. this is interesting".. um.. I don't think that I will be participating in that"
another girl said "wait let me get this straight?, girls are volunteering to go on free dates" wow...how nice of them.. to get taken out on free dates...and they have never been married what makes them know more about dating then someone else..."
another guy came up to me personally and said.. " Keli, I think that you are just mad that they did not ask you to be a dating expert.." I said "um no.. and even if they did, I would turn that down" I said "who am I to tell someone that I have no interest in dating what THEY should do"....
Then another guy said.." you don't get it Keli, these girls are doing us a service, they are going to give us unfiltered honesty" I said " I HIGHLY DOUBT THAT"... I said "you can hang out with me for an hour for free and I can give you some pointers.. " He said " no, he was not going to take me out." I said "well then apparently you don't really want unfiltered honesty" ....
I don't believe that these women have the courage to tell any of these guys what they would really need to hear... I don't know who they are.. but I know not many women DO and not many men want to HEAR it.. things like...
1. you are BORING ( but hey someone else might think they are not)
2. you don't even know how to have a conversation!!!!!!!! you ask the same questions over and over and OVER and say the same things... ( maybe someone else might not mind that.. and they can just repeat themselves together all day long)
3. you need medication...and/or counseling.. STAT -if you have been asking girls out and going on dates and it is not working.. you are the common denominator.. get some REAL help with that.. don't think that I don't realize that about myself...
4. you have bad breath/need to wash your hair/body
5. your clothes make you look like you are homeless.. like I am not sure if you are a homeless person or man with a career.. cause you are dressing like a homeless person...
my one friend said that I don't know that the men need dating advice as much as they need FASHION ADVICE...
..and may I add grooming advice...
I saw a guy at the recent singles conference that wore the same outfit the whole time .. and it was STRAIGHT OUT OF THE EIGHTIES.. neon blue and everything.. and he lives around here in a HUGE HOUSE ...like I know you got money to buy at least two outfits and a new sweater!!!!!
another guy told me that during EQ on Sunday this whole thing was announced again.. and that he raised his hand to make a comment but another guy beat him to it.. and said
" this sounds like a scam to just get your friends that are girls dates with lots of guys"
pretty much.. pretty much...
my friend and I were chatting last night.. and she said.. the problem is that I ( Keli) would like a man that reads and it would make me happy to read books out loud with a man.. or to talk about books..
that bores her...
and she likes dancing... I don't want to go dancing...
so I might say as a pointer.. " you need to read more!!!!!!!!!!" and she might say " you need to dance more!!!!"
which is right.. I guess you can say both are or neither...
I think ultimately what I believe is to
1. trust in God.. he KNOWS what is right for you and DOES HAVE A PLAN FOR YOU.
2. BE YOURSELF..!!! who ever is going to ultimately fall in love with you is going to like YOU.. not who someone else told you to BE... seriously...
I have recently been on three dates with a guy... ( he thinks it is two...but we can agree to disagree on that right!? :)
I have prayed and been myself.. he is not perfect.. I am not perfect...and our dates have not been perfect...
but they have been pretty darn cool...
and we did not need any pointers from anyone else to accomplish that...! :)
.........................and yes I will write a blog post about him.. at some point....but hey it has only been two or three dates.. it is not like I write blog posts after one date.. oh wait.. I do...
but I am going to wait on this one :)
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