There are some very creative, innovative people in the singles program for my church.. I have been to some really awesome activities.. once my uncle asked me.. will it be hard for you when you get married to leave all those activities and just be married.. I said no .. not at all.. I would love to have a family ... that was back in 1998.. when I had just got baptized...
I would love to leave those activities.. I am not sure others feel the same way...
a guy I know in the Potomac Ward once met a woman at a potluck.. he was really interested in her.. I said "ask her out" he said.. no I will just see her at other activities and wait and maybe in like three or four months.. I might ask her out..............so much for striking while the iron is hot...
another time the same guy met another woman at another potluck.. and I said "ask her out" he said no.. I think I will just add her to the Potomac list serve.. and add her on FB and then when there are activities or parties.. I will tell her about them.. and then she will go and I will see her there..and then I might ask her out...
I said so basically you are going to tell her about activities so that she can go to them.. and meet another guy that WILL ask her out...
I pressured him for two weeks and after several anxiety attacks and him second guessing himself.. he asked her out..
he was so nervous by then.. it did not go anywhere...he could barely have a conversation...
another time he met a girl at an activity and they hit it off.. but he said "he could not ask her out" because "well she lived to far".....but it was nice to see her at activities...
he is part of the problem..
he would rather go to activities than actually DATE someone.. IDK I mean he says he wants to date someone.. but does he know how?? and at this point how does he learn..??
I know a woman that was dating someone for awhile.. he does not go to the singles stuff.. he goes to a family ward.. I said.. " he seems like a nice guy" she said " yeah he is OK.. " but I wish he would go to more singles activities"....
I said "well he does not need to he is dating you"... she said "well yeah.. that is true..."
um do these people not get that these activities are designed to meet people so they can progress... not just continue to hang out at them... I do not care if someone I am dating goes to activities or not.. I mean as long as he goes to CHURCH and magnifies his calling.. and does his home teaching.. I could not care less if he goes to SINGLES activities if he is dating me...
another time a woman that I know showed up super late to an activity with some random guy...not sure if he was a member or not..I thought if you are out on a date..a and the thought comes to you... " I need to go to this LDS singles activity..
THEN YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
no you do not need to go... you don't need to show up... no one there needs to see the guy/girl that you are with so they can be like "wow.. check her out, she has got a man!!!' or "check him out, he has got himself a girl"....
NO...
I was "dating" a non-member for awhile and he is very good-looking... he has a full head of hair and beautiful eyes...and he is tall and well-built and he dresses very well... sometimes during the day while I was at work.. I would think.. I have got to bring him to this activity so people will see HOW HOT HE IS!!!! and see ME with this HOT guy!!!!
but then those nights I went over to his his house... and ate dinner with him.. or watched tv and movies with him and sat around and talked I just enjoyed being with him..and talking to him.. and not until I left and was alone again a few days later.. would I think ... he is so hot.. I need to bring him to an activity .. or post pictures of us all over FB..
but I never did any of those things.. until now.. I never even mentioned him in a blog.. yet we had some fun times..
the conversations I had with him and the snuggles and the dinners and the feelings were better than anything I have felt at any singles activity ....EVER... and I did not end up with him..and I am writing this with no remorse.. like " I wish I was still with him"
granted we have some great activities... like my bishop invites us to Lake Anna once a year and takes us out on his boat..and once a month he buys us all Cafe Rio.. those activities are awesome.
I would give any of those things up.. to have a steady boyfriend...
Life is short.. we only have so much free time.. those activities are designed to MEET people... if you have already MET someone.. then spend your time getting to know THEM...go to activities SOME.. go to the ones you are very interested in.. or go and then leave early...go together and leave together...
but I feel like you should work on spending your time with that person.. and if it does not work out.. go back to the activties and meet someone else...
so here is my advice
1. if you are at an activity and talking to someone... and it is a good conversation.. ask them out!!! if it is not the Sabbath say something like "let's go get some ice cream" or whatever.. invite them over to watch a movie or play a game whatever...
2. if you have a date, don't show up at some single activity .. no one cares.. unless it is a really amazing activity .. then I understand..but even then...
3. if it is a non-member date him first.. get to know him or her..then maybe do something radical like INVITE him to church.
4. always put dating before going to singles activities.. always..always ALWAYS...
those are supposed to be a means to an END .. not the end..
if you are more interested in doing those singles things than actually dating THEN YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
because I guarantee even though I have never been married.. I bet you anything that is better than anything.. and having children.. well they bring so much joy into your life and make things so much more enlightened..
and that is better than Lake Anna.. and free Mexican food.. any day..
I would love to leave those activities.. I am not sure others feel the same way...
a guy I know in the Potomac Ward once met a woman at a potluck.. he was really interested in her.. I said "ask her out" he said.. no I will just see her at other activities and wait and maybe in like three or four months.. I might ask her out..............so much for striking while the iron is hot...
another time the same guy met another woman at another potluck.. and I said "ask her out" he said no.. I think I will just add her to the Potomac list serve.. and add her on FB and then when there are activities or parties.. I will tell her about them.. and then she will go and I will see her there..and then I might ask her out...
I said so basically you are going to tell her about activities so that she can go to them.. and meet another guy that WILL ask her out...
I pressured him for two weeks and after several anxiety attacks and him second guessing himself.. he asked her out..
he was so nervous by then.. it did not go anywhere...he could barely have a conversation...
another time he met a girl at an activity and they hit it off.. but he said "he could not ask her out" because "well she lived to far".....but it was nice to see her at activities...
he is part of the problem..
he would rather go to activities than actually DATE someone.. IDK I mean he says he wants to date someone.. but does he know how?? and at this point how does he learn..??
I know a woman that was dating someone for awhile.. he does not go to the singles stuff.. he goes to a family ward.. I said.. " he seems like a nice guy" she said " yeah he is OK.. " but I wish he would go to more singles activities"....
I said "well he does not need to he is dating you"... she said "well yeah.. that is true..."
um do these people not get that these activities are designed to meet people so they can progress... not just continue to hang out at them... I do not care if someone I am dating goes to activities or not.. I mean as long as he goes to CHURCH and magnifies his calling.. and does his home teaching.. I could not care less if he goes to SINGLES activities if he is dating me...
another time a woman that I know showed up super late to an activity with some random guy...not sure if he was a member or not..I thought if you are out on a date..a and the thought comes to you... " I need to go to this LDS singles activity..
THEN YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
no you do not need to go... you don't need to show up... no one there needs to see the guy/girl that you are with so they can be like "wow.. check her out, she has got a man!!!' or "check him out, he has got himself a girl"....
NO...
I was "dating" a non-member for awhile and he is very good-looking... he has a full head of hair and beautiful eyes...and he is tall and well-built and he dresses very well... sometimes during the day while I was at work.. I would think.. I have got to bring him to this activity so people will see HOW HOT HE IS!!!! and see ME with this HOT guy!!!!
but then those nights I went over to his his house... and ate dinner with him.. or watched tv and movies with him and sat around and talked I just enjoyed being with him..and talking to him.. and not until I left and was alone again a few days later.. would I think ... he is so hot.. I need to bring him to an activity .. or post pictures of us all over FB..
but I never did any of those things.. until now.. I never even mentioned him in a blog.. yet we had some fun times..
the conversations I had with him and the snuggles and the dinners and the feelings were better than anything I have felt at any singles activity ....EVER... and I did not end up with him..and I am writing this with no remorse.. like " I wish I was still with him"
granted we have some great activities... like my bishop invites us to Lake Anna once a year and takes us out on his boat..and once a month he buys us all Cafe Rio.. those activities are awesome.
I would give any of those things up.. to have a steady boyfriend...
Life is short.. we only have so much free time.. those activities are designed to MEET people... if you have already MET someone.. then spend your time getting to know THEM...go to activities SOME.. go to the ones you are very interested in.. or go and then leave early...go together and leave together...
but I feel like you should work on spending your time with that person.. and if it does not work out.. go back to the activties and meet someone else...
so here is my advice
1. if you are at an activity and talking to someone... and it is a good conversation.. ask them out!!! if it is not the Sabbath say something like "let's go get some ice cream" or whatever.. invite them over to watch a movie or play a game whatever...
2. if you have a date, don't show up at some single activity .. no one cares.. unless it is a really amazing activity .. then I understand..but even then...
3. if it is a non-member date him first.. get to know him or her..then maybe do something radical like INVITE him to church.
4. always put dating before going to singles activities.. always..always ALWAYS...
those are supposed to be a means to an END .. not the end..
if you are more interested in doing those singles things than actually dating THEN YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
because I guarantee even though I have never been married.. I bet you anything that is better than anything.. and having children.. well they bring so much joy into your life and make things so much more enlightened..
and that is better than Lake Anna.. and free Mexican food.. any day..
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