dating Keli

There are some very creative, innovative people in the singles program for my church.. I have been to some really awesome activities.. once my uncle asked me.. will it be hard for you when you get married to leave all those activities and just be married.. I said no .. not at all.. I would love to have a family ... that was back in 1998.. when I had just got baptized...

I would love to leave those activities.. I am not sure others feel the same way...

a guy I know in the Potomac Ward once met a woman at a potluck.. he was really interested in her.. I said "ask her out" he said.. no I will just see her at other activities and wait and maybe in like three or four months.. I might ask her out..............so much for striking while the iron is hot...

another time the same guy met another woman at another potluck.. and I said "ask her out" he said no.. I think I will just add her to the Potomac list serve.. and add her on FB and then when there are activities or parties.. I will tell her about them.. and then she will go and I will see her there..and then I might ask her out...


I said so basically you are going to tell her about activities so that she can go to them.. and meet another guy that WILL ask her out...

I pressured him for two weeks and after several anxiety attacks and him second guessing himself.. he asked her out..
he was so nervous by then.. it did not go anywhere...he could barely have a conversation...

another time he met a girl at an activity and they hit it off.. but he said "he could not ask her out" because "well she lived to far".....but it was nice to see her at activities...

he is part of the problem..

he would rather go to activities than actually DATE someone.. IDK I mean he says he wants to date someone.. but does he know how?? and at this point how does he learn..??

I know a woman that was dating someone for awhile.. he does not go to the singles stuff.. he goes to a family ward.. I said.. " he seems like a nice guy" she said " yeah he is OK.. " but I wish he would go to more singles activities"....

I said "well he does not need to he is dating you"... she said "well yeah.. that is true..."

um do these people not get that these activities are designed to meet people so they can progress... not just continue to hang out at them... I do not care if someone I am dating goes to activities or not.. I mean as long as he goes to CHURCH and magnifies his calling.. and does his home teaching.. I could not care less if he goes to SINGLES activities if he is dating me...

another time a woman that I know showed up super late to an activity with some random guy...not sure if he was a member or not..I thought if you are out on a date..a and the thought comes to you... " I need to go to this LDS singles activity..

THEN YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

no you do not need to go... you don't need to show up... no one there needs to see the guy/girl that you are with so they can be like "wow.. check her out, she has got a man!!!'  or "check him out, he has got himself a girl"....

NO...

I was "dating" a non-member for awhile and he is very good-looking... he has a full head of hair and beautiful eyes...and he is tall and well-built and he dresses very well... sometimes during the day while I was at work.. I would think.. I have got to bring him to this activity so people will see HOW HOT HE IS!!!! and see ME with this HOT guy!!!!

but then those nights I went over to his his house... and ate dinner with him.. or watched tv and movies with him and sat around and talked I just enjoyed being with him..and talking to him.. and not until I left and was alone again a few days later.. would I think ... he is so hot.. I need to bring him to an activity .. or post pictures of us all over FB..

but I never did any of those things.. until now.. I never even mentioned him in a blog.. yet we had some fun times..

the conversations I had with him and the snuggles and the dinners and the feelings were better than anything I have felt at any singles activity ....EVER... and I did not end up with him..and I am writing this with no remorse.. like " I wish I was still with him"

granted we have some great activities... like my bishop invites us to Lake Anna once a year and takes us out on his boat..and once a month he buys us all Cafe Rio.. those activities are awesome.

I would give any of those things up.. to have a steady boyfriend...

Life is short.. we only have so much free time.. those activities are designed to MEET people... if you have already MET someone.. then spend your time getting to know THEM...go to activities SOME.. go to the ones you are very interested in.. or go and then leave early...go together and leave together...

but I feel like you should work on spending your time with that person.. and if it does not work out.. go back to the activties and meet someone else...

so here is my advice
1. if you are at an activity and talking to someone... and it is a good conversation.. ask them out!!! if it is not the Sabbath say something like "let's go get some ice cream" or whatever.. invite them over to watch a movie or play a game whatever...

2. if you have a date, don't show up at some single activity .. no one cares.. unless it is a really amazing activity .. then I understand..but even then...

3. if it is a non-member date him first.. get to know him or her..then maybe do something radical like INVITE him to church.

4. always put dating before going to singles activities.. always..always ALWAYS...

those are supposed to be a means to an END .. not the end..

if you are more interested in doing those singles things than actually dating  THEN YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

because I guarantee even though I have never been married.. I bet you anything that is better than anything.. and having children.. well they bring so much joy into your life and make things so much more enlightened..

and that is better than Lake Anna.. and free Mexican food.. any day..
 

missionary Keli

Guess what? I don't only write about dating..

Recently my friend Monica and I were talking about miracles that happen to missionaries and I shared this story:

When I was on my mission, Sister Carrie Christensen and I "whitewashed" into an area that is when one set of missionaries leave and an entirely new set come in.. often that set is a different sex.. so we whitewashed into Santa Paula,CA...

The elders had left us some notes on the white board ( we all had white boards back then) and among the notes was this...

Maria- find her

I am sorry but WHAT... let me mention that Santa Paula is about eighty percent Latino.. and Sister Christensen was a "Spanish speaking missionary"

... in case you did not know.. a lot of people that are Hispanic are named Maria.. how were we supposed to find ONE person named Maria... I mean really...but we prayed to find her anyway..

all of the mission apartments have area books which is basically the addresses and names of the members ..and notes about different investagators they are working with..

the elders had wrote things in ours like
-this guy is really buff- like thanks for sharing that is applicable..

and
-this lady is a really good cook-
OK... well there are a lot of those out there...

so one day when we had only been there a week or so we were kneeling in our apartment praying and I felt like we should go to that ladies house that the Elder's said "was a really good cook"

so we called and asked if she would have us over for dinner.. and she said yes.. and we got there early and were tracting her street and like two doors down from her.. this lady answered the door.. and she said "oh the boys, said you would find me".... We said "what is your name?" she said

Maria...She said "she had been talking with "the boys" and they said "we would find her"

I am not even kidding you... we had been praying and praying that we would find her.. and it had seemed farfetched..and I thought that junk they had written in the area book was so silly... but I got the answer to go to "lady that is a good cooks house" and my companion said "let's tract this street"

and we sure did find her..!!!

and well.. she was not interested in the gospel.. I think that she had been interested in the Elders.. but the gospel not so much but hey that was back in 2000.. maybe she has changed her mind...

but the point is .... WE FOUND HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

dating Keli

a guy that I know recently read my blog and said that "he could not believe that, that guy had treated me that way" and "that he had texted me to tell me about what a horrible date that I was" He said that he would "never do something like that"

I said "well have you been on any dates that you would like me to tell about on my blog?"

He said yes..and this is that story:

once he asked a girl out .. and they went and had a nice dinner and a nice conversation and they seemed to hit it off...so he asked her on another date... and this time she was cordial.. and still nice but they did not seem to have THAT much to talk about.. but she was cordial...

He thought .. maybe she was having a bad day.. I mean we had a good time the first time... so he asked her out again..she said yes...

this time he said that she BARELY SPOKE TO HIM... that she kept yawning.. and totally ignored him and did not answer anything past a one word answer.. like "yeah" "no" ... "OK" and such..So.. he said he did not call her again.. or ask her out again...

So this blog post is not to write anything about the guy...it is to say

WHY DO PEOPLE GO ON DATES WITH PEOPLE THEY ARE NOT INTERESTED IN!!!!??? seriously why do they... it is like we get a little bit older and just feel like well there is no one left...I guess I will give this person a chance...

NO TRUST your gut.. trust the holy ghost.. trust whatever.. don't go out with people you are not interested in..

you have been interested and been dating people for TWENTY PLUS YEARS .. DO NOT NOT NOT NOT second guess yourself and make yourself go on a date with someone you are just not into...
don't do it because you are depressed..
don't do it for a "practice date" you are too old for that.. that is for teenagers.. if you are old enough to HAVE a teenager .. you are old enough to KNOW how to date and who you want to date...
don't do it because you "feel like you might not want get married" so " you might as well go out with this person...
just DON'T do that that..
don't waste a person's time.. and gas money and money going out with them ONE TIME.. and for sure NOT THREE TIMES if you are NOT INTO THEM.. it is RIDICULOUS!!!!
and don't do it because you are pressured.. like "well I might as well..
have some faith in yourself and some integrity and say
no thank you.. I feel like we would be better as friends...
respect yourself and that other person... no one wants to be on a date with someone that is yawning and not even talking to them...
and no one wants to go on a date with someone and get their hopes up only to find out they are just not into them...

dating Keli

I went to the Potomac Ward for church a couple of Sunday's in December 2012. While I was there, a guy introduced myself and my friend to another guy.. that he said had "just got baptized"

My friend and I told him that we were both converts also and congratulated him on his decision to join the church.

 We then asked him what he did for a living..He said that "he wanted to get into politics" and he was very involved in politics" So we asked what do you want to do regarding that..He said that he wanted to campaign for people and wanted to get involved in the "grass roots" of politics and get involved on a local level...

I said " oh then, were you involved with the campaign of Tim Kaine and Barack Obama?" He said who is Tim Kaine? I said " the guy that just became a senator in VA" ..He said " I don't know who that is...

He said DEFINTILY NOT BARACK OBAMA!!! ( I did not think so..but well sometimes I like to stir the pot)

He then started telling me and my friend.. all of the reasons why he does not like President Obama..reasons like
he is anti-white
he is a terrorist..
and he even brought up that preacher he associated with....I have not even HEARD that argument since he LAST time that President Obama ran for president..

I said "wow next thing I know, you are going to be telling me that he does not have a birth certificate"...

Him and my friend got in this heated discussion.. and he was like "you don't have your facts straight" and "if we would just read about President Obama" blah blah blah...

So I said " LISTEN IT IS THE SABBATH!! and we are in a CHURCH and we are grateful that you accepted the gospel of Jesus Christ into your life..and that you have a testimony of that.. that is what is important.. I then bore a very short testimony...

So the guy that introduced us then jumped in the middle of us and said " WE BETTER SPLIT THESE TWO UP!!!!" because they might fight..

it was very strange.. like um ? what?  So the guy walked away.. and because he is an attractive man he was immediatly swarmed by women that wanted to talk to him..

and I did not think anything more about it.

Then a couple of days later it was New Years Eve.. I spent forever getting ready for the dance.. I spent forever getting my hair just right.. I must have changed my outfit five times.. and I watched and copied a make up tutorial on youtube.. and when I went to the dance I got a lot of compliments people said " I looked very pretty" and "they liked my hair, make-up and outfit"

when it was almost midnight.. people from the Potomac ward started pouring in there.. this guy was among them.. I said " hi" to him

and that was all..then later one of my friends came up to me and said.. this guy said that "you look really pretty tonight" and that he wanted you to have his business card"... It was the political guy... I said " I look pretty TONIGHT!" He just saw me at church like a couple of days ago and had NO INTREST IN ME...like no intrest in talking to me.. and he did not even give me a second look but TONIGHT he thinks I look pretty.. when I spent forever getting ready... well that is nice..but um.. I barely ever look like this.. and I thought that I looked nice at church the other day.. and if he was not into me then.. well I don't even know..
so the girl came up to me again.. and said.. " that guy feels really bad that he made a bad impression on you and he wants you to have his business card.. " I said " OK fine" ...

So then the guy himself came up to me while I was taking pictures with all my friends and kissing all the guys on the cheek for New Years.. and gave me another business card.. and said he was so sorry that he had made a bad impression on me at church.. and that he just had to take me out on a date... ..he just had too..I said you can add me on FB.. he said " no I just have to have your phone number... so I gave it to him.. and I had to write it down because he said that he wanted it written.. then he asked again if he could take me on a date..

I said "sure" and asked him to pose in a picture with me...because I was getting pictures with everyone..

I did not want to go on a date with him.. I can't put my finger on WHY I did not.. I mean he is a nice looking man.. and dresses well.. I just did not want to go...

But everytime that I tell people I decline dates I get all this junk like " I am too picky"  or " I need to give people a chance" or " How do I know" or "consider it a practice date"....

1. I know because I have been dating since I was 15.. and I am usually smart enough to pick up what someone is putting down.

2. since I have been dating since I was 15.. I don't need to go on a practice date...

so a couple of days later he called me and asked me out.. .I was busy that weekend.. so we set a time during the week...

I did not want to go.. I felt this overwhelming feeling like I am just not into him.. I looked up his website on the internet.. and saw that he had not updated it since July 2012..who passes out business cards with something that they don't even update..

I looked on his FB and his profile picture was two years old.. and all his posts I could see were crazy republican/anti-obama rhetoric...

great.. just great...

I really wanted to cancel..but this guy I know said no don't cancel.. that is so rude!! so I did not..

so we met at the 23rd st. building.. he was over a half hour late.. he did text me and he told me that the tennis lesson that he was teaching ran over..

When I got there.. and got in his car.. he said "where should we go for dinner" I said that "I was up for anything"  He said "well I am not going to Chili's because they suck" I said " well we better not go there then.."

So we went to some italian restaraunt on 23rd st..

this is a synopsis of the conversations that we had there
1. he said that he was a tennis teacher

2. he has a five page plan about things he wants to do in the future to make money.. and to implement in his life to bring him success...and once he starts on this five page plan .. then he will make lots of money...dude is in his early 40s..

3. He wants to be involved with local politics and grass roots because he has GOT TO GET AHEAD OF THE GAME FOR THAT NEXT ELECTION... because he HAS TO MAKE SURE THAT THE REPUBLICANS KEEP THE HOUSE!!!!!! I asked him what he was doing regarding this.. and if he had worked on the election we JUST HAD...he said no...that he had not...he meant to and it was very important to him.. but he had just not.. but in his five page plan he WOULD work on the next one...

4. he is disappointed that people THIS CLOSE TO DC are not more into politics... he is surprised that more people at church do not talk politics...because he wants to talk about them ALL THE TIME...he said that is the ONLY REASON he moved this close to DC because he wanted to be more involved with politics... even though he did NOTHING for the last election.. and my goodness I know they needed him...

5. He wants to move to a swing state... and then the swingiest part of that state.. and go out and campaign for what is RIGHT... I said I thought that Northern VA WAS the swingiest part of this state.. I mean I know Richmond and Hampton Rds.. too..but I thought it was like that here... he said that VA was not swing enough for him.. maybe he will move to FL.. that is part of his five page plan.. he may implement....

I asked him how he found the church... he said that he was talking a long time to this one girl that he taught tennis to and she said " how do you find peace in your life?" and he said that he did not know..and he had tried a lot of churchs and none seemed right...she said "well you should give our church a try"

at this moment I was feeling like the worse member missionary EVER!!!! like wow.. I need to invite more people to church...

then he said that she said" yeah she wanted me to come to the Potomac ward.. because she said that there were a lot of attractive ladies there and I would like it and have good luck"

then I felt like the best member missionary ever ...because I sure as heck have NEVER invited anyone to church.."because they might have good luck with the opposite sex"....no I would prefer if people converted because they have a testimony of Jesus Christ...

so back to stuff he talked about

6. He said that he joined our church in fall 2012.. (when it looked like Mitt Romney might win)....and he liked it.. because "there were a lot of cool people" and he has "met a lot of cool friends"

7. He said that one of the reasons he joined was "all the republicans and attrative ladies"

8. He was also glad that our church was not "family oriented" like most churchs where everyone is married and has kids.. and gives him a hard time for being in his 40s and living with roommates.. and not really having a career...but at our church no one cares if he gets married.. he can just be himself.................o.m.gosh..what...

he said that he will get a career soon when he implements his five page plan..then he will be a success...

I asked him if he had ever been married, or had any children

He said that he had just finished dating someone in the Potomac Ward a couple of days ago.. and he told me who it was...here is what he said about her..
1. she was not right for him because she was only a A- and well he is NOT going to settle for a A-... I said at this point you will be lucky if you get a C... just an average C.. I mean I would be happy with a C.. nobody is perfect.. and if she is an A- well you better call her up.. and see if you can work it out...he said .. no because she said I am only an A- for her too.. and well..no.. and also she went away for the holidays and did not invite him so "whatever"

I said that dating is hard.. and that I had been dating someone but it was not really serious.. and that I am dating other people (obviously)..he was not to happy to hear that...

so while we were at the restaraunt he refused to order anything off the menu..and said that he wanted "just penne" with "red sauce"....
they charged him almost $20 for that...he could have invited me over for dinner and made penne with red sauce...

so after dinner he said that we could now "go somewhere and talk" I said that I could not, because I had to go over to someones house..and get my calander I had left there"

He was not happy... when we got back to my car.. I said I had a "nice time" and thanks for dinner and "good luck with everything" and got out...

then I was driving down the road.. and I get this text from him and it said "that was ridiculous" I said "what" he said "YOU HEARD ME!" I said "he said " I HOPE THAT YOU FEEL GOOD ABOUT YOUR SELF ABOUT IGNORING ME!!!!" I said "um" he said that I looked at my plate the WHOLE time .. and that I IGNORED HIM .. and that was not OK.. I said..."well I am sorry that you feel that way...but...my phone is about to die"


I almost cried..it kinda shook me up..what a jerk!!! I mean seriously...he was just mad because he is good looking and most LDS girls probably fall all over him and well I did not.. oh well...

so the next day I wake up and I have a text from him that came in at 6:15 AM and it said
"hahahahahahhahahahah" I did not respond to that...

then a few hours later I am sitting at work and I get several texts that said
1. I was very rude, I did not look at him at the restaraunt and I looked at my plate more.. and I DESTROYED HIS EGO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...

.... I knew it...come on he is in his 40s and NOT MARRIED.. you can't TELL me that another girl has not been disinterested in him...come on..

2. that he IS GOING TO BE GOING PLACES IN LIFE!!! and NOW BECAUSE OF LAST NIGHT.. I AM NOT GOING TO BE ABLE TO GO THOSE PLACES WITH HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and I will miss out!!!!!!

um Ok.. my loss.. he is in his early 40s he should already BE SOMEPLACE...

3. that I am never going to get married... because I never going to find a "sap" that fits all my hefty requirements...which he does not know what they are since I did not tell him...

4. good riddance and he hopes he never sees me again...

um to bad buddy.. I am not going to stop going to singles activities...

he ended this with a smily face!!!! the audacity...

I replied... "OK"

he said "that is all you got"..."you read all those books and you are so smart and that is all you got!!!!"

I said "yes"

and he has not text me again.. I told my co-workers and they were like WHAT THE!!!?? and said things like
is he your religion???
well he obviosly does not act like he is religious!!
and please don't tell me he has your address!? he seems scary...

I agree.. I was super shook up...I mean I am sorry that I did not like you back..but did you need to attack me via text.. my goodness!!!!

so I have seen him a few times since then...my friend said he sat down next to her at  church realized it was her.. got up before the sacrament was even passed and she did not see him again the whole three hour block...

one night at institute a couple of weeks ago..HE CAME AND SAT BY ME.. I was like WHAT THE??? then I realized he did not even know it was ME.. then I made a comment and he knew it was me.. and he scooted his chair back... like a whole row back.. so he no longer would have to sit with me...
because apparently he is ten years old...and can't sit next to person he does not like for even a second...

what I learned from this whole thing is NEVER again am I going to go out with a guy that I have a bad feeling about.. for whatever reason.. or that I am just not into.. I am thirty-eight I have been dating over twenty years.. I don't need practice dates.. or any of this other nonsense.. I am not going to waste my time or my gas.. or money.. or someone elses time, gas or money..if I have that gut feeling that I am not into them...like THAT not into them.. then I will just politly decline.. because well I am at my quoata for crazy experiences with men lately...

....well maybe not..because the man that introduced us.. said " I should be glad that guys like him and other guys ask me out, because the guys that do are popular" and "good-looking" and "any girl would love to go out with them" and how can it not work with these men when women are SURROUNDING THEM.. " and I should feel lucky.. and maybe I just need to make up with them.. because they are popular and cool..

um OK now. ... I have reached my quoata...

dating Keli

My friend recently told me a story about her dating life, I said " may I share that on my blog!" she said " yes" so here you go:

My friend started attending the Potomac Singles ward spring 2012.. She told me that she was going to "sit in the back" and "observe" and "let people, just come to her"

I said that was not a good idea in the Potomac Ward.. because.. well there are a lot of people sitting in the back in the Potomac Ward.. and people are for the most part.. not coming to them..

So she reached out to people, my friend loves to cook, and she loves to talk to people... so she invited a girl that she met, and a guy that she met over to her house for dinner... she thought that they seemed cool and it would be fun to get to know them..

The girl canceled.. but the guy still came.. so that is cool..

She made dinner and her and the guy had a good conversation and she thought... I am not really into him..he is a " bit too quirky for me"...but .. " I bet that we could be good friends!" .. They watched a movie together and they talked some more and then he went home.

My friend was excited! She thought "Yay!!! finally I have made friends..!!! "I mean not that I am not her friend..but I am in the Oak Marr ward.. and it is nice to have some friends in your own ward..

The next day she went to church and saw this guy that had came over for dinner.. and she thought that he had got the same vibe from her that she felt about him.. like " hey, I am not into you like a BF, but we can be friends"

So she said hey and sat down next to him in the chapel..she said as soon as she sat down he got noticibaly uncomfortable and started looking all around...

This is a very common trait in the Potomac Ward.. sometimes when you are talking to someone .. or sitting by someone they will look around.. for someone else to talk too.. like " someone cooler" I just don't even know...

So this guy said to my friend... " um... Um.. I gotta.. um I gotta go pass the sacrament.."  and he got up and took all his stuff.. and walked away...

She thought that he might come back.. but he did not..She said that after the sacrament was over.. he walked right past her.. and did not even look at her.. and went and sat with other people.. and she was left sitting  alone in the middle of a bench..

She said that she felt like everyone in there saw him do this.. because she was in the middle up front .. like basically saw that she sat by him and that he got up.. and did not come back...

She left after sacrament ...crying...

you may think that a little thing like this does not matter..but it DOES matter.. it matters a LOT... little things like this are hurtful.. especially when you have been treated like this for TEN or TWENTY years and you are still not married.. and not only that.. one guy .. that seemed nice enough to eat dinner and converse and watch a movie with you... can't even sit by you for an HOUR at church...


sad times indeed...

dating Keli

In December 2012, I went to an activity for the mid-singles. 

While I was standing in the hall.. a mid-single man engaged me in conversation and this is what we talked about..

Him "where do you work?"

me " I work at the Leesburg Outlet mall"

Him " you don't really want to work there do you?'

me " um yes... I do.. why?

Him " because this one guy in the Potomac Ward used to work at Wal-Mart and he hated it so he went and got a degree.. and now he has a computers job.. and he does not have to work at Wal-Mart anymore.. and he is happier.. and you would be happier if you did not have to work retail..."

me" who said I was not happy?"

Him- "well that guy in the Potomac ward that worked at Wal-mart was not happy..."

Me" well who would be happy working at Wal-mart.. I mean really, I don't step foot in there!"

Him" your life would be happier if you did not work retail"

me " would it? how do you figure?"

Him " I just got a bachelors in IT, and now I am going to get a good job.. and I will be happy.."

Me: " that is good .. good luck with that.."

Him " you need to go to school and get a degree, you could go into nursing.. or something like that.. " 

Me" um WHAT!? why do you not think retail is good enough? what if I became a manager.. I think being a manager of a retail store is a "good enough" job..

Him " you would be happier if you got a degree and became a nurse.."

me.." there is NO WAY that I am going to become a nurse.. ever.. I had that idea once and I would probably have to take biology and chemistry at least two times each.. at LEAST.. and I am bored out of my mind by those classes and I just have no desire to be a nurse ...

him " you need to go to NOVA.. you could get a degree there and be happy"

me.." I have a 3.75, and like 20 credits or so.. I might be able to bypass Nova and go to GMU"

him " oh yeah .. well go there.. "

him " Keli, you will be happy when you have a degree"

at this point a man from the Potomac ward came out saw us standing there.. and even though we were talking.. he felt like he HAD to be in the conversation so he SHOUTED.. 

"OUT IN THE HALL!!!!!" .... "OUT IN THE HALL!!!!!" OUT IN THE HALL!!!"

that man has a MASTERS.. no idea if he is happy ...but he is very loud and was shouting this.. then he walked over to us... and we just stood there so he was like "what are you guys talking about.". I said that we had just gotten there.. then he asked if we had arrived together.. we said.. no.. and he was like well .. "OUT IN THE HALL!!!" then went back in the chapel...

the above  guy has also told me in the past " I need to get a degree or I am not going to be happy"

so back to my conversation with the first guy...

" him " Keli, you have got to stop, waiting for a guy to ride up and save you, you need to go get a degree.. you may not get married"

..........................................glad.. he told me that because well.. the thought NEVER occurred to me.. EVER....

me: I DO still hope to get married and I am not giving up..."

him: "well you need to get a degree, do you think he is going to pay all your bills".....

me.. " um do you think that the women in this ward PAY ANY BILLS... um no... " but I stopped waiting for a man many, MANY years ago.. I hope one comes.. but waiting no.. done waiting .. I am living my life.. but if I DO get married I HOPE I can have a baby.. and no I do not plan on working... and if I do it will be something part-time..

Him-" I used to live in Woodbridge, there are a lot of people I see here from Woodbrige and I feel bad for them, if they still live in Woodbridge"

Me-" why? 

him "because Woodbridge is so ghetto that some people call it HOODBRIDGE!!!!!!!!!!!!"

he looked around and whispered this to me.. he did not want anyone to hear this.. not sure what this had to do with anything...BUT .. that is important stuff you know...

so anyway... that was about all of our conversation.. we both kinda parted... I thought 

WHO ARE YOU? YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW ME and you want to tell ME, I AM NOT HAPPY!!!!! um yes I am happy!!!!! as happy as I can be..

and YES I wish I made more money.. and sure I would like a degree in SOMETHING.. I don't know what.. but SOMETHING.. maybe history.. or museum management or recreational therapy.. something.. but IDK ...maybe my book will sell and become a screenplay..and then I can write another one.. maybe I will just take care of several more generations of kids.. till I get old and die..

and maybe .. just maybe one day I can actually married and maybe have my own little baby(ies)

just maybe ...all I can do now is pray and have faith and trust that GOD HAS A PLAN FOR ME!!!!!