a few years ago my friend Kathy's son Dan told me I should read the book "How to win friend and influence people" a few months ago my friend John told me I should read it also..since both of these men have strong personalities and I have bumped heads with them I decided that I was never going to read this book.. also the title seems so cheesy..
then a few days ago I was at work and finished the book I was reading and saw this on my boss Mike's bookshelf and thought that I would give it a shot. .... I actually loved it.. it was chock full of good ideas of how to talk to people and how to handle situations.. in fact, if I had NOT been reading this I am almost positive that I would have been mean and judgemental to the guy that I am somewhat dating..he has his issues.. and this book helped me to look at a different way that I could handle things..
Here are some of the things that I learned in the book:
1. Don't criticize, condemn and complain.
2. Give honest and sincere appreciation
3. Arouse in the other person an eager want
4. Become genuinely interested in other people
5. Smile
6. Remember that a person's name is to that person to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
7. Be a good listener and encourage others to talk about themselves.
8.Talk in terms of other people's interests.
9. Make the other person feel important and do it sincerely.
10. The only way to get the best in an argument is to avoid it.
11. Show respect for the other person's opinions never say "you are wrong"
12. If you are wrong admit it quickly and emphatically.
13. Begin in a friendly way.
14. Get the other person saying "yes, yes" immediately.
15. Let the other person do a great deal of talking.
16. Let the other person feel the idea is his or hers
17. Try to honestly see things through the other person's point of view
18. Be sympathetic to the other person's needs and desires.
19. Apply to their nobler motives.
20. Dramatize your ideas.
21. Throw down a challenge.
22.Begin with praise and appreciation
23. Call attention to people's mistakes indirectly.
24.Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person
25. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
26. Let the other person save face.
27.Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be "hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise"
28. Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
29. Use encouragement, make the fault seem easy to correct.
30. Make the person happy about doing the thing that you suggest.
I wrote them all down here so hopefully, HOPEFULLY the next time that I am in a situation.. then I will handle it better.. :)
then a few days ago I was at work and finished the book I was reading and saw this on my boss Mike's bookshelf and thought that I would give it a shot. .... I actually loved it.. it was chock full of good ideas of how to talk to people and how to handle situations.. in fact, if I had NOT been reading this I am almost positive that I would have been mean and judgemental to the guy that I am somewhat dating..he has his issues.. and this book helped me to look at a different way that I could handle things..
Here are some of the things that I learned in the book:
1. Don't criticize, condemn and complain.
2. Give honest and sincere appreciation
3. Arouse in the other person an eager want
4. Become genuinely interested in other people
5. Smile
6. Remember that a person's name is to that person to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
7. Be a good listener and encourage others to talk about themselves.
8.Talk in terms of other people's interests.
9. Make the other person feel important and do it sincerely.
10. The only way to get the best in an argument is to avoid it.
11. Show respect for the other person's opinions never say "you are wrong"
12. If you are wrong admit it quickly and emphatically.
13. Begin in a friendly way.
14. Get the other person saying "yes, yes" immediately.
15. Let the other person do a great deal of talking.
16. Let the other person feel the idea is his or hers
17. Try to honestly see things through the other person's point of view
18. Be sympathetic to the other person's needs and desires.
19. Apply to their nobler motives.
20. Dramatize your ideas.
21. Throw down a challenge.
22.Begin with praise and appreciation
23. Call attention to people's mistakes indirectly.
24.Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person
25. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
26. Let the other person save face.
27.Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be "hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise"
28. Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
29. Use encouragement, make the fault seem easy to correct.
30. Make the person happy about doing the thing that you suggest.
I wrote them all down here so hopefully, HOPEFULLY the next time that I am in a situation.. then I will handle it better.. :)
2 comments:
Great summary K.A.! Your list is dynamite - made me want to read the book again. :) A couple decades ago, that book changed my life. Glad you found it to be helpful. Thanks for reminding me about all those positive ways to interact with people.
John Cini
I will look for copies for us at the thrift store :)
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