Dating Keli

For several weeks my friend had told me about a guy at institute that she thought was "really hot"...

I don't even listen to my friends when they say that anymore because I have realized that my friend's version of "really hot" and MY version of "really hot" are two very different things..

Which is OK because we are all different people.

So I go to institute and this guy is teaching and my friend is like "THAT IS HIM!!!" I said "who?" She said" that guy I was telling you about!! " She said "all the women want him here"

I said "um..OK"

so this guy was teaching and it was possibly one of the most boring lessons I have ever sat through..he talked at an octave that I was straining to hear him .. and I felt like raising my hand and saying " can you please speak up" .... I have become that old that I almost made the comment "can you please speak up" but seriously this guy talked SO QUIET.. he for real needed a microphone or needed to project or do SOMETHING besides talk in a quiet monotone..

Plus he never even got to the subject of the lesson he spent so much time building up to what it was supposed to be about that he never got to the actual SUBJECT

So after institute this guy, the teacher called ME over.. and said  " Hello, I just wanted to introduce myself, are you new here, I have never seen you? " I said.. "um I just have not been here for awhile" and he was like "well I know that you were listening to my lesson and it was just so nice to be teaching and looking out and seeing you look back at me and know that you were taking it all in and listening..."

I was thinking... OH NO!! I was sitting by my friend that thinks he is hot and he is talking to me.... OH NO!!!

So I said "well thank you"

He asked me where I worked " I said at  a retail store"

He was standing with a friend and the friend is on my FB and I said " I am sure he sees my updates about it on FB.. I update about it frequently"

His friend smiled and said " you got to watch out for Keli" she will give you a hard time:) " and he smiled....

I then said to the guy.. "everyone knows me on FB because I update like 25 times a day..except when I have to work.. then well that work is just such a PAIN! it totally gets in the way of my social media!!!"

the teacher guy started to back away and he was like " why do you update your FB 25 times a day"

omgosh he thought I was serious.... ( Ok maybe some days..I do)

so there you go I had two strikes
1. I work retail
2. I apparently am addicted to social media...(OK I am)

....................I am sure that this guy has NO VICES at all...

so I tried to make small talk with him.. I found out that he is a lawyer and he works in DC.. but he was clearly NOT interested in talking to me.. ANYMORE...just like that.. that quick.. he was not interested in talking to me anymore...

my friend however was interested in talking to him.. she came up to him and had a conversation with him...

so later my friend and I were talking about getting my record expunged ( I have a record you all!!) and she said to go ask this guy because " he is really nice" and he is a lawyer...I said he is not that kind of lawyer he has never been in a  court room.. I would need someone that has been in a court room.. that is not him.. My friend is like "No, he will know.. he is a lawyer" I was hesitant.. because I felt like no, he is not that kind of lawyer

but I went up to this guy and I was like " my friend ( right my friend) has a record and needs to get one thing she did a "long time ago" off it .. do you know anything about that...he said well...


and looked away.. and looked over at another man.. and said...well I am waiting to talk to that man.. and I don't want to miss him ... this other man was deep in a conversation with yet ANOTHER man.. and they were joking and laughing and carrying on..I said well that man is IN a conversation.. with that other man .. and they seem to be enjoying themselves talking.. so you can talk to me...

he said I know .. but I am to worried that if I start talking to you that, that man will be available.. and then I will miss him and I will be sad if I miss him because he is a cool man and I really need to talk him...

I said HE IS IN A CONVERSATION WITH THAT OTHER MAN!!! you are STANDING RIGHT HERE.... YOU DON'T NEED TO INTERRUPT THEM!!!

he said well if I just stand quietly then I can wait...He then said he was not that kind of lawyer.. and that I would have to go before a judge... and he started to say a bunch of other stuff but I realized that was all fluff and filler and I could get more information by GOOGLING this so I said thanks anyway...

and the whole time he could not take his eyes off this conversation that these other two men were having.. and he could not focus on talking to me..

I said " you know what, if I was a single man in my .. what are you ? mid- to late 30s??"  and I drove here after working ALL day from DC.. and someone of the opposite sex wanted to talk to me... I would totally turn her down.. so I could WAIT to talk to someone of the same sex... that is ENGAGED IN A CONVERSATION WITH SOMEONE ELSE!!!!!

that makes perfect sense to me"

I said " oh well I am basically like the most boring person you will ever meet .. so you didn't miss anything..."

He said " well I don't know if you are boring or not" I just really need to talk to that man" I said well... I guess you wont find out if I am boring or not.."

and I walked off....